Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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