I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
