You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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