just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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