Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
