Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she peed on how many people?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I yelled at your uterus for you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
