so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
