fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
