How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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