using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
