This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
