Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
