I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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