they need to just BURY HIM!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
