idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
