The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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