I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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