someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
