letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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