oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
