Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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