She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
