Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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