Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm jealous of your bromance
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
