Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
