I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
