i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
