So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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