if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
