i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
