i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
