So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
