i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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