I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
