member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize