this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
