It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How naked do you want me to be?
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