i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
