I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
