Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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