if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
