I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
