Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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