Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
