My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
