what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
