Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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