i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
