I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
