Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
