Michael Bay diarrhea
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
