yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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